Reordering My Heart: December Reflections
Something I’ve increasingly noticed over the past few years is a calling to turn inward come December.
As the sun rises a little later and the ocean crashes with more ferocity at night, I feel a soulful need to take inventory, reflect, and close things out as the end of the year draws near, as if I’m clearing space from my inner worktable of psyche and soul.
Sometimes, I make lists in my journal, going month by month or grouping things by quarter and writing down the major themes, occurrences, and lessons. It’s my way of putting a mile marker on my journal page and acknowledging, “I was here. These things happened. In some way, this all helped shape, flavor, and give scope to this past year.”
It’s a mindful act of synthesizing and integrating that helps me organize my heart, organize my inner world, and clean up any debris that doesn’t need to go with me into the new year. I like to travel light when I can, without the weight of emotional baggage and mental clutter.
2024 was a quick-moving year for me. I often felt I was bopping from one thing to the next to the next and then repeat.
An endless cycle of busy-bee-ness, I juggled multiple creative offerings, collaborations, my writing, private practice, marathon training, and family and home.
Mid-March through the beginning of December felt fast-moving, and it was sometimes hard to catch my breath. Looking back on those seasons, I cannot imagine not having had those experiences and the abundant gifts each gave me. But my life was also constantly scheduled and that created stress, and my energy output far outweighed any rest, receptivity, or ability to fully receive and savor joy.
I learned a lot about myself this year. I learned that I could juggle much more than I imagined. I learned that when I ask the universe for help, creative inspiration, and the energy to focus and follow through, the right resources will show up. I learned a lot about capability and a new sense of self-efficacy.
But I also learned that just because I can triage all of that doesn’t necessarily mean it is good for my nervous system or points me in the direction my heart desires to go long-term. I have dreams, you see, that I’ve been following for years, and they’ve been stirring again and asking me to revisit and remap their vision.
December has been a month of going inward and reflecting on my choices, on different branches of my vocation and calling, on how I want to show up in the new year, and on what might need to be released to receive and pour my focus into the things that matter most to my heart.
It takes time to become ourselves. Becoming is best understood as our life’s work, something we are continually moving toward.
Progress is not always steady, nor is it meant to be. We might appear to be moving backward, but something of value might be happening in our souls, or we may be learning an important lesson to help us surge forward in a new cycle.
We can grapple with who we are and, through our grappling, shed old layers.
We try on new skins and reinvent. We discover what fits and what’s not quite right. We are constantly learning and exploring, and if we can follow our heart’s wisdom and maintain authenticity and integrity as core values, we eventually compass ourselves back to a place of coming home.
We return to something core and true within ourselves, having grown more beautiful and real in the process.
The beauty of all this is that the path has no right or wrong. All of it is an experience that our soul will use to grow. Even if we feel we’ve wandered and gotten off course, we will still learn something in the process, and we always have an opportunity to return to our hearts and reconnect with the voice of our souls.
We are precisely where we need to be at any moment when we look at it from the vantage point of our soul, and I find that vastly reassuring.
As for me, this December, I want to listen to the voice of my soul.
Spend time in solitude to rewild and create space to dream, contemplate, and receive. Stay mindful, self-kind, and cautious with my yeses. Pay attention to the questions in my heart and trust the answers will come.
Pour an extra cup of coffee on the weekend and linger. Write poetry for no other reason than pleasure. Find tiny moments of seasonal coziness and make space for joy. Be a practitioner of the beauty way and cultivate the art of appreciation.
Do the things I know I need to do, to contemplate, integrate, distill the answers waiting within, and take a little time to reorder my heart.
If you enjoyed this post you might also enjoy Grace, Growth and Gratitude or Let It Be Messy.
For more heart wisdom and stories you can fine me on the Your Heart Magic Podcast or dive into my latest book Small Pearls Big Wisdom.